


1+1=0

by alovelyvixen



Series: NCT Queer Month (2k19) [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Dancer Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Drinking, Fluff, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Love Triangles, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, i don't really know how to tag this, recreational of course, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-23 07:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19146403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alovelyvixen/pseuds/alovelyvixen
Summary: donghyuck really wants mark. not only is mark a) clueless, and b) his best friend, but he is constantly ruining donghyuck's confidence to confess or looking at someone else.why does donghyuck still go after mark, if it makes his heart ache so much?taeil thinks the same thing every time he saves him from mark's shadow.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> happy pride month! :)

For the longest time, Donghyuck had a crush on his best friend. He was kind, they both wrote music, they had perfectly intertwining interests; The fact that they were familiar with each other, having known each other for years only sweetened the deal. It was just that. They had been friends for so long, he never knew. He found it hard to jump at the chance to tell him, in fear of ruining anything.

 

 

Donghyuck always came running to Taeil. Though they flaunted a generous age gap, he found comfort with him and happiness in his company. It made him happy to have someone there, throughout various ordeals with Mark Lee.

 

 

+

 

 

After Mark had finished one of his first gigs, he was happy to find Donghyuck in the audience. And boy, was he ecstatic to hang out with him after a long time of stress about finally earning money from his music.

 

 

He had brought him a tiny plant with some musical embellishments, and the offer of going out to eat. Donghyuck had seen the thick and the thin of the stress he went through. It would be wrong of him not to come and support with all of his might.

 

 

“Hyuck!”

 

 

Donghyuck lifted his head with a smile. It faltered for a second, seeing that he was holding a girl close, by the waist. Not just any girl, but his current romantic interest, Mina. He wouldn’t let his happiness fade, though, because of his lacking in keeping them apart.

 

 

“I’m really glad you came, I was so nervous up there,” Mark slung his arm around his shoulders and pulled him just as close as Mina was.

 

 

So here he was, apart of the Mark Lee sandwich, as one of the slices of bread. Mina was the top slice, glistening, toasted, probably with a pickle on top to garnish it, and Donghyuck was the bottom slice, flat, slightly soggy, damp from the toppings, and there as filler. It felt horrible to be the bottom bun in this situation.

 

 

-

 

 

There was a long time of Mark talking to a bunch of people with Mina taking her place next to him, and he was getting a little tired of doing nothing. By now, him and Mark would be beaming ear to ear in a restaurant, talking, having fun, maybe over a few drinks once Donghyuck would offer to escort him home. In some alternate universe.

 

 

Donghyuck went over to the line for the bathroom and leaned against the wall, dialing a number on his phone.

 

 

‘ _Hello?_ ’

 

 

“You sound tired..” Before calling, he hadn’t even checked to see what time it was, to see if it was too late to request anything of him.

 

 

‘ _What’s wrong? Aren’t you at Mark’s show?_ ’

 

 

“I am, I just need you to pick me up. I need an excuse to leave.” He mumbled, so that nobody Mark knew would hear, and pass the gossip his way.

 

 

‘ _I’ll try to be there soon_ ’, There was some shuffling, probably because he was in bed.

 

 

“I’ll see you when you get here.”

 

 

-

 

 

Donghyuck sat for about thirty more minutes, bored out of his mind, blowing gently at the leaves of Mark’s plant. Which, he hadn’t gotten to change to give to him yet. Said musician was the star of the night, and had his hands full: figuratively and literally. His appetite was gone, replaced with boredom, and he wasn’t tired, just bored. Perhaps he was the only one who could be bored in a bar full of people - one being one of his favourites - celebrating.

 

 

“Hyuck,” A hand came into his peripheral and tapped the table.

 

 

He looked up, and he had finally arrived.

 

 

“Let’s go,” Taeil smiled and nodded his head.

 

 

Not a moment passed before he followed him outside to his car. The plant was still with him. Guess it would never be Mark’s. He sat in the passenger seat, sighing. “This is much nicer. It’s quieter, too.” No alcohol had been consumed, but his head was still pounding.

 

 

“You looked like you were having a _great_  time. You and your plant friend.”

 

 

He looked down at the plant. “It might as well have been the two of us.. Can it be the three of us, tonight?”

 

 

Taeil sighed. “What’s wrong?”

 

 

Donghyuck played with the leaves a little bit. “I was stuck as the bottom slice of bread in the Mark Lee sandwich..”

 

 

“I thought you were a virgin,” There was a bit of fake coyness in his voice.

 

 

The younger pouted and shoved him. “Just drive..” His eyes shifted to look at his grin for a second before averting to hide the amusement. It always succeeded, because he knew how to cheer him up. Especially when it came to Mark.

 

 

-

 

 

He must have fallen asleep, because Taeil was currently shaking him awake. Donghyuck opened his eyes to see bright lights, but also the roof of Taeil’s car. It smelled really good, though, so he sat up.

 

 

“I already know you haven’t eaten. We’re getting food, so pick something,” The menu lit up in front of them.

 

 

First of all, Taeil had picked him up and allowed him to come home with him. Second of all, he reclined his seat for him when he realized he had fallen asleep. Third of all, he was taking him out to eat. Donghyuck smiled and rubbed his eyes.

 

 

“Can you get me something healthier? Like chicken? Or a salad?” His headache was lingering, and he didn’t want anything too heavy that would make him drool all over Taeil’s pillows. Not to mention, he wasn’t big on _greasy_  fast food. Once he was listing off their short order to the attendant, he laid back in the seat and sighed. Little did he know, that _again_ , he fell asleep.

 

 

-

 

 

The second time around, he woke up to his torso being pulled out of the seat, and out of the car.

 

 

“Taeil, Taeil,” Donghyuck opened his eyes, only to see him there. “I could have gotten out myself..” He straightened his legs to stand up. His stance was a little shaky, so he inevitably felt Taeil’s arm around his back, dragging him up to his apartment. It looked like he was drunk, to be honest.

 

 

By the time they reached the door, he had woken up sufficiently enough. The plant first caught his attention. There it was, the tiny sprout amongst a flurry of musical notes, in Taeil’s hand.

 

 

Donghyuck smiled and entered, turning on some light.

 

 

“Now come on,” Taeil set the plant on the counter and pulled him to the room. “I’ll let you eat in my bed. Just because I’ll be awake to supervise you.” He had the bag in his hand, which was not from the same place they had pulled into. “Change your clothes, you smell like alcohol and sweat.”

 

 

He already knew the drill. As long as he slept in his bed, he could wear his clothes. And there was a perfectly fine drawer of clothes in his closet for him to wear. There were some new ones, he noticed, and took some shorts and a shirt.

 

 

“I got you a poke bowl,” The latter said once he emerged from the closet. “Figured it wouldn’t hurt. It’s better than chicken, or a salad.”

 

 

“Thank you,” Donghyuck climbed into the bed.

 

 

-

 

 

It took approximately 75% of the bowl being consumed to put him to sleep. Taeil thought it was really cute how he gently set the bowl in a crevice of the bed to ‘rest his eyes’. He closed it up, and went to quickly put it in the fridge. Quickly, because Donghyuck would wake up if he noticed he wasn’t there. Taeil wasn’t sure if he knew, but he had a habit of cuddling him in his sleep.

 

 

Whilst that happened, he started falling back asleep, as though his best friend wasn’t cuddling him like a koala and mumbling in is sleep. He was probably mumbling things about Mark, so he didn’t spend a second indulging him, even if he was asleep. Taeil simply wrapped an arm around him and fell asleep with his cheek pressed to the top of his head.

 

 

♡


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taeil can't decide who's worse: donghyuck for still going after mark, or mark for continuously shoving him into the friendzone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy pride month! :)

Donghyuck had been having the time of his life this week. First, it was the confirmation that he was able to participate in a dancing gig - which paid quite generously. Then, it was the opening of a spot in the local dance showcase. Following that, there was a handful of nights where he tore it up at the club, and the same nights where he would come home and sleep heavier than normal. Taeil had also given his name to some former connections, to boost his reputation. He was over the moon.

 

 

Tonight was the night of the showcase, which would be one of the coolest he would be in. Every one of his friends was invited to watch.

 

 

He primped himself in the mirror, dancing around his apartment to the music. In his personal, biased opinion, he looked great. There was a smoldering glittery smoky eye with eyeliner on, with some red underneath to enhance it, and some of his nice red glittery gloss to top it off. His outfit was a simple loose but cinched sparkly black long sleeve shirt and black pants, as well as his dancing boots.

 

 

Once he had gathered his small bag with extra clothes and his phone, along with some other essentials, he left for the showcase

 

 

It was in a warehouse, where there would be a fair amount of center space for them to have. The setting was avant garde. Donghyuck was in love with it.

 

 

All the dancers were to come through the back and wait in the big side room that was blocked off. Their stuff was kept there. The supervisor counted all their heads and looked around to double check, looked out the door to see how big their audience was, and stood up on her chair.

 

 

“By the door!” She shouted.

 

 

They all gathered by the door for their entrance. “Eat up the attention of the audience, take the energy it gives you, and turn it out!” A whisper to turn the lights out was made, and the warehouse turned darker. The leader pushed the doors open, and the lights slowly lit up the room as they walked through the crowd. There were whoops and hollers all over; Donghyuck was already eating it up.

 

 

By the time the lights had fully lit up the center, they were there, set up. The audience seemed to have a new life breathed into them when ‘Noir’ started up as their opening song. It was a bit upsetting that Donghyuck wasn’t center for anything, but then again he had just filled an open spot. He had a fair amount of center time, though.

 

 

Donghyuck danced his heart out, and when it got to the bridge, he got his first bit of center time. Everyone else dropped to the floor on cue, and he stood in the middle. He drank in the attention from the audience. Once he had his few seconds to flaunt, he looked around and grinned as they cheered louder. To his right and left were a few familiar faces.

 

 

As if his ego couldn’t get any bigger, there were a few shouts of his name. The more he danced, the more he was proud of himself, and happy for the slot being open.

 

 

-

 

 

The showcase was finished after an hour of them dancing their hearts out, split into groups, solos, duos, and altogether. They worked hard, and were definitely shown the proper amount of attention, if not more.

 

 

Donghyuck hadn’t bothered to change his clothes before bolting over to grab snacks and drinks that someone laid out, even partaking in some leisurely drinking. Mark had found him a couple times, but failed to get his attention. Whilst his mind was busy in the cupcakes, he approached him.

 

 

“Mark!” He downed the ‘punch with a kick’ in his cup and hugged him. “I’m kind of sweaty, sorry.”

 

 

“It’s fine, you were _electric_  out there. Reward yourself,” Mark slung his arm around him. “You’re such an amazing dancer.”

 

 

“Indulge a bit, and dance with me then,” There was no way that Mark would give him the cold shoulder tonight. He picked up a bottle of alcohol that was stuck in the cooler, and pulled him along. One could say that Mark found him just as he was losing his last bit of sobriety.

 

 

Mark chuckled and let him be as wild as he wanted, even joining him in at times. Perhaps a little friendly grinding took place.

 

 

Maybe Donghyuck had gotten mixed signals from that, because he turned his head and went to place a kiss on his lips. All it had done was mess up his gloss and leave remnants on the corner of Mark’s mouth from when he tried to dodge it. The two looked at each other. Donghyuck parted from him, going off to eat more pastries once he got the immediate message that he messed up.

 

 

“Raa~!”

 

 

He jumped, and stumbled a bit. Though, there was nothing to fear, because it was just Taeil wrapping his arms around him.

 

 

“I was wondering where you were, I invited you, and I was _really_  hoping that you came,” Donghyuck’s words were a little slurred, but still in time and understandable, only with more pouting.

 

 

“I can see you’re having fun. Your makeup is a little messed up, though.” Taeil was still hugging him from behind as he wiped off the smeared gloss.

 

 

It felt quiet, even in this loud place, to be in his arms. That’s what he really needed now. All his fun was had, he was stuffed with sweets and alcohol..

 

 

“Dead weight, Hyuck,” The other’s voice was strained, trying to hold him up. “We’d better get you home then, huh?” It was rare that he got drunk, but at least it was in good merits. Just apart of his night of performing and partying. He hoisted him up by the waist back onto his feet. “Where is your phone and stuff at?”

 

 

Donghyuck leaned over him to grab another cookie before beginning to pull him to the room where all the dancer’s stuff was.

 

 

Before they were able to leave the food area, Mark came up (in search of a napkin, to wipe off the gloss). Taeil smiled, politely, since they were acquaintances; His eye caught on to the familiar smudge on his face that was harshly wiped off with a napkin. “Be careful, he’s feeling a little frisky.” He chuckled, grabbed a drink, and retreated back off to the party.

 

 

Taeil was fuming. _No, he wasn’t feeling frisky. He always feels like this. And it’s not lust, either, because he’s an angel and doesn’t deserve to have his body tainted by you of all people. It’s because he’s in love with you. You’re just an idiot who is blind and refuses any of his affections. You don’t deserve any of his affections_. And the fact that he could say that in his presence and then leave was upsetting. What an _asshole_  he was-

 

 

The cute dancer looked back at him, pouting. “I don’t wanna talk about it..” He tugged on his arm.

 

 

This time, he followed along.

 

 

-

 

 

Once they had gotten his stuff, his sugar high was coming down, which only added onto his intoxicated state. “You’re too young for this, Hyuckie,” Taeil was carrying him in his arms bridal style, with his bag on top of his stomach. “Now I’m going to have to baby you in the morning to make sure you don’t feel horrible.”

 

 

“You’re babying me already..” His head was hung back, bobbing as they walked back to his apartment. They were both lucky that Taeil had taken a cab there, and that the place was walking distance from Donghyuck’s apartment.

 

 

It was hard enough to carry him, and carrying him up a flight of stairs was further proof of that. Things only got harder when he had to really baby him the more he lost consciousness.

 

 

Taeil flopped his sleeping body onto the bed. He took in a deep breath. “Lee Donghyuck, you are so lucky I care about you so much.”

 

 

Getting him into new clothes was much easier with him sleeping, to be honest. If he was awake, he would have pushed him to take a shower, but it was just good that he didn’t smell horrible and didn’t spill anything on himself. Besides, he would sweat out a bit of the alcohol while he rested. Taeil laid down on the bed with him, makeup wipe in hand.

 

 

With each swipe, his eye makeup came off, his lip gloss came off, his BB cream came off. While he was wiping off the bit of tint in his eyebrows, he smiled at his sleeping face. Donghyuck was so gorgeous, and even sleeping, his face was something to desire. Just like Sleeping Beauty, but better. He quickly kissed his - squishy, soft, warm - cheek before going off to find some clothes. There was no doubt in his mind that there were either some of Taeil’s or would fit him.

 

 

He eventually found some of _his_  clothes. Donghyuck’s body almost immediately gravitated towards his when he laid down. Taeil accepted his cuddles with a big embrace and an even bigger heart.

 

 

♡


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a festival trip leaves donghyuck bubbly with love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy pride month! :)

There was a big annual event going on, a festival of sorts, downtown. Of course Donghyuck invited everyone to go with him, even Mina. There was a hatchet to bury, and he wanted to just let everything go. Mina was kind of nice, actually, so he couldn’t blame Mark for wanting to be with her. Mark always had wonderful taste in the people he brought into his life.

 

 

Currently, everyone was running around and having fun, mostly with Donghyuck dragging Mark with him to do everything. There was food, entertainment, rides, even relaxation. Perfect for turning over a new leaf.

 

 

“Hey, I’m gonna go find Mina. Ferris Wheel,” Mark patted him on the back. He was probably going to make some romantic gesture, as per usual. A real romantic.

 

 

Donghyuck pulled out his phone to call Taeil. They had barely dove into the food yet, so while Mark was off romancing, he would be munching. No need to, though, because he ran past him with one of their other friends.

 

 

“Taeil!” He ran up to them. “You wanna check out what food they have?”

 

 

His hands were already holding a funnel cake, but he nodded. “Let’s go,” Taeil grabbed the hand of their friend. The three of them went for the food vendors, each agreeing to share everything. Though, Taeil got a bit timid when it came to getting some of the foods. Notably, the ones that were either remotely phallic or were liquids. What was he missing, here? Donghyuck caught Mina waiting in line for a ride and walked over.

 

 

“Care for some churro?” He held it out graciously. “Mark is looking for you, by the way.”

 

 

She took the churro and rolled her eyes as she took a bite. “I’m avoiding him.”

 

 

“Why?” Donghyuck waved at Taeil not to wait up for him. Those two could have more fun without him.

 

 

“Can you believe that I’m just sloppy seconds? After all the time we’ve spent together, and the way he looks at me, and wraps his arms around me, and does stuff for me. You’ve seen us together!,” Mina shook her head, chewing angrily.

 

 

“You two looked really cute together..” Just as he was accepting them. God damn it, Mark Lee. “But, why would you be sloppy seconds?”

 

 

She sighed. “He tried to.. Sleep with my sister. And I didn’t even know about it, until she figured out and just texted me. But he actually made an effort, as did he with me. I thought it would just be the same. It wasn’t.. But now it doesn’t matter.”

 

 

“Mina,” Donghyuck hugged her while she wiped her few tears.

 

 

“Where are all the good guys at?”

 

 

Boy, was he wondering the same thing.

 

 

-

 

 

Donghyuck ran to the ferris wheel to look for Mark. After all, his side of the story had yet to come out. He was waiting in line with Taeil, so he joined them. “Hey, mind if I butt in?”

 

 

Taeil shrugged. “There’s more than one cart I can sit in.”

 

 

He smiled and turned to Mark. “Don’t worry, we’re gonna still have fun.”

 

 

Mark sighed, and moved up so they could climb into one of the sets of seats. Donghyuck settled next to Mark, with Taeil in the seats in front of them. The older looked unsettled, but still enjoying it to an extent.

 

 

“Why do girls know how to break your heart so bad?” Mark rested his elbows on the safety bar as they began to ascend slowly. “Am I just easy?”

 

 

That caught him off guard a little bit, but it was expected. “Trust me, you’re not easy.”

 

 

“Hey..”

 

 

“I’m serious!” Donghyuck pouted. “You’re tough, and stubborn, and you have quite a solid heart. You’re not swayed by affection, but gestures. You don’t heed to verbal calls, but physical ones. Contradictory, but that’s just how you work. You’re the hardest person ever.” It sounded pained. Unfortunately.. That pain was easily read.

 

 

Mark sat up and looked at him. He immediately received a smile to accompany the words, which looked so good in his eyes after seeing Mina cry.

 

 

It felt slow, but all too fast when Mark pulled him close by his sides and kissed him. Donghyuck didn’t hesitate to hold his face to reciprocate the kiss. They all but made out on top of the ferris wheel before he began running out of breath.

 

 

“Spark?”

 

 

It was the same thing Donghyuck had said to Mark when he mentioned Mina for the first time. Was there a spark? Potential relationship? Anything there? Mark asking him if there was a spark sent a fire running wild. He knew for a fact that there was no spark on the other end. Mark was striking a match and throwing it to his heart. But.. Fire spreads.

 

 

He had been waiting for this for quite a while, and now was his chance to finally go for it. This might be his only chance. Donghyuck wanted to take it, so desperately.

 

 

“Maybe.”

 

 

-

 

 

Taeil caught him almost immediately once they got off the ferris wheel to drag him in the opposite direction. “You guys are gross. I had to watch that, you know.” He slung an arm around his shoulder. “While you two were sucking face, I saw some little rides off into the corner of the park. There’s only a handful of people over there. Also, more food. It’s getting dark, and I’ll probably be leaving soon.”

 

 

Donghyuck was ecstatic, even though he was a mix of emotions right now. He happily let himself be brought along.

 

 

This part was much more calm, and nice. Perfect fit for hanging out with Taeil. It was nicely lit for the oncoming night, and had the less sloppy carnival foods. They didn’t waste a minute before going on a ride. There was one that bounced you up and down, one that spun you around, one that was a simple roller coaster. Before the sun set, they still had yet to ride all the rides that weren’t scary. The one that was closest was teacups.

 

 

The both of them got in just before they started spinning. Taeil took up most of the leverage in spinning it, because Donghyuck was too caught up in giggling and laughing. He looked at him, with his hair blowing with the wind the ride was making, and the fact that he could only see him against the blurry scenery just made it better. His laughter and smiles were the most genuine they could get.

 

 

Taeil held Donghyuck’s waist on the way out. Donghyuck looked at him, giggly and dizzy, when a hiccup made his way through. As if he couldn’t get any cuter right now.

 

 

On their way out, grabbing some more little treats, a game vendor came up to them. “Would the happy couple like some free prizes?” This corner seemed to be shutting down before the rest of the place.

 

 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck blushed, and hiccuped. It seemed like Taeil didn’t waste a second playing into the couple ploy. He only blushed deeper when he wrapped his arm around his waist to pull him close to his side. There was a small box of stuffed animals and some various things thrown on top. The game attendant closed the lid and handed it to Taeil.

 

 

“Have a nice night, you lovebirds.”

 

 

They walked off, towards Taeil’s car. “So, fill me in. I thought you had some competition.”

 

 

“I don’t even think I wanna compete any more. Him and Mina aren’t a thing anymore because Mina broke it off. I’m not sure. Maybe he’s just heartbroken and going for the first thing in sight? Or maybe I can take advantage of that? Show him what I’ve wanted, and what he’s been missing?” Donghyuck leaned against his shoulder. “Do you think I should fully go for it? Jump into the deep end?”

 

 

Taeil let go of him to unlock his car. “I think you should, because it’ll make you happy, right? I know firsthand how long you’ve just wanted to be embraced, and loved. And I know how long you’ve wanted it to be Mark to do that for you. It’s all up to your little heart.”

 

 

He smiled and nodded happily at him. “Always the wiser, Moon Taeil.” Donghyuck sighed. “So what do you wanna take?” There were some things in the box the other would like.

 

 

The older looked at the box for a few moments before reaching in and pulling out a sunflower.

 

 

“Have it all, Hyuckie,” Taeil tucked it behind his ear. “You deserve it.”

 

 

Donghyuck watched him get into his car. He picked up the box so that it wouldn’t be in the way and stepped back, hiccupping. Taeil laughed at him from inside the car as he drove away. The group would be arriving soon to all pile in their cab and go home, so he cherished the air, full of love and happiness from all the kisses and affection, until his fatigue from the day set in and the rest of them arrived on time for their departure.

 

 

♡


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> with a frustrating mess of emotions going on in donghyuck's head, he finally sorts it all out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy pride month! :)

At least a week had passed since the entire carnival ordeal, and he was having such mixed emotions. Mark had been his crush, and his best friend, for as long as he could remember. He always went to his events, and vice versa, to support each other. There was a bond between them that not even a stupid unrequited crush could ruin. Though, now, it was on the verge of losing that title. He was tempted to jump into it with Mark. Not only was he there, as a friend, but also as a companion. Mark wanted him to be his companion. And gosh, did he, but it might all just be out of heartache for Mina. Things might end in a few days once he came to.

 

 

Then there was the side he didn’t even realize existed. Once Taeil had driven off, he wallowed in the fact that _oh my god I just kissed Mark Lee_  but also the sweet gestures to end the night. Taeil taking him to a different part of the park, Taeil giving him advice with Mark, Taeil tucking a sunflower behind his ear and letting him have all the free stuff. He hadn’t even realized that he had another viable option that had been tugging at his heart strings. Right now, they were threatening to rip them in half.

 

 

Donghyuck was in his bed, scrolling through every type of social media he had, even his email, looking for a sign. Anything. Go after Mark, or see if his feelings for Taeil were real? The feelings that he didn’t even realize existed until he was driving off. It wasn’t the same type he had for Mark, where he immediately wanted to kiss him, and hold his hand, and call him his boyfriend. It was something that he was too young to interpret and understand.

 

 

He groaned and rolled over onto his stomach. Who would he call in this time of need? The person he always called.

 

 

-

 

 

_ ’Hello?’ _

 

 

Donghyuck was sat up in his bed. “Hi.”

 

 

_ 'I hope you haven’t overworked yourself, since nobody has heard from you in a week. We’ve all been trying to call you.’ _

 

 

“I know. I’ve been turning my phone off, but I just need advice. I’m really all over the place right now, emotionally, and you’re the only person I can count on.”

 

 

_ ’Aw, Hyuck. Is it stress?’ _

 

 

He sucked in a breath. “I’m so deep in my feelings for him. He’s always there for me. He makes me feel better when I’m feeling down, he makes my days better, even when I don’t need it, he’ll buy me things, show me places I’ve never seen before.. He’s considerate. So considerate. Takes care of me all the time and I don’t even realize it sometimes. Maybe he feels the same way but my h - heart is aching,” Donghyuck started sobbing without realizing it.

 

 

_ ’Oh, god, are you crying? Hyuck?’ _

 

 

“I don’t know what to do,” He whimpered and sniffled. “I don’t know how I feel. It’s so strong that it makes me upset every time that I try to understand it or think about it.”

 

 

_ ’Why don’t you tell him? It will make your heart feel so much better. _

 

 

“I.. I..” He laid back, trying not to sound like the most pathetic mess. “I’m scared. I just wanna feel loved, and what if it backfires? What if I was wrong? I don’t have a plan B here, and I’ll just end up fucking everything up.”

 

 

_ ’If you really know him, is he that type of person? Would he let you down, whether or not things go right or wrong?’ _

 

 

That was a really good question.. Was he? “We have a really strong bond, and if I think about it, he’s been with me through a lot. Nothing like this, but- I don’t think so. He’s never let me down, now that I think about it.” He wiped his eyes, suddenly having a realization. “Of course, there’s times when I get upset with him, but who doesn’t get upset at one another? I can count on him for a fair amount of things.”

 

 

_ ’You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about then. I think it’s really cute how you have such intense feelings. You’re a passionate person, so it’s not that surprising. Just don’t cry, okay? There’s no need to get frustrated.’ _

 

 

Donghyuck took in a deep breath, sighing, and bit his lip. “I’m gonna do it.”

 

 

_ ’Do what?’ _

 

 

“I’m gonna tell him everything that I just said. Straight up. No filler, no sugar - coating, all of it. There won’t be any choice for me to deny it. It’ll be out there, and we’ll see what happens.” He swallowed and nodded to himself.

 

 

_ ’Yes, Donghyuck! You’re self confident, I believe in you. Besides, who could turn you down, even if things go south? You’re such a great person.’ _

 

 

“Really? I am?” His frown turned into a smile.

 

 

_ ’Now you’re just fishing for compliments.’ _

 

 

“Okay, okay, I’m gonna tell him.”

 

 

_ ’Make sure you tell me how it goes, okay?’ _

 

 

Donghyuck took in a couple of big deep breaths, breathed through his nose, swallowed, sat up straight, everything to calm himself down. His heart was beating fast just thinking about it. “Okay.”

 

 

_ ’Go! Now! Before I do it for you!’ _

 

 

“I just did it.”

 

 

_ ’I know you didn’t just type out a text that fast. Lee Donghyuck, go do it, right now.’ _

 

 

“I didn’t say it through a text.”

 

 

_ ’What are you saying? You sent a carrier pigeon? Donghyu-’ _

 

 

“I just said it,” He looked at the musical note plant - now without the musical notes stuck into the soil, at the pile of dirty clothes in the basket, at the TV. As if he were trying to avoid eye contact. The line was silent for enough time that made fear crawl back into his veins, and he sniffled as tears came back into his eyes.

 

 

_ ’Do you want me to come over?’ _

 

 

Donghyuck nodded, even though he couldn’t see it. A tear rolled down his cheek again. “Yes, please do.”

 

 

-

 

 

There was a knock on his door, and he all but bounded over to open it. Behind the doors were his feelings, ready to be understood and make him feel all better. For a split second, he didn’t want to open the door, but he immediately changed his mind. He wanted it badlier than he had ever wanted something before. Donghyuck unlocked it and swung it open.

 

 

In the doorway stood Mark, biting his lip with a bag in his hand. His mind was dazed, looking at him.

 

 

“Hey,” He stepped aside to let him in. Instead, Mark pulled him forward by the waist and kissed him.

 

 

“Mark, I don’t know how I feel about this,” Donghyuck held him by his shoulders.

 

 

“Taeil told me that you like me.”

 

 

He furrowed his eyebrows. “...What?” His voice was quiet.

 

 

“I was asking him for advice on Mina, and whether or not I should go for anything I feel for you, or if it would be worth it,” Mark backed him inside and shut the door. “He told me to pull my head out of my ass and see that you have liked me all along.”

 

 

Donghyuck wasn’t sure how to feel, yet again. When had he told him? How long ago was this? Yesterday? A couple days ago? Right after the festival? There were no negative feelings for Taeil, because he had most likely done it for his own good, but still. He sighed and lowered his head. “Mark, don’t try to reciprocate feelings that are too strong for you to understand. Yeah, I get it, you know all my feelings now, but you don’t have to accept them.” He looked at the bag in his hand. “What is that?”

 

 

Mark bit the inside of his cheek. “Lunch.. I was going to offer a picnic.”

 

 

There were a few seconds were he felt guilty, for not being able to reciprocate these feelings properly. But then again, he had just showed up at his apartment without being invited after not contacting him for a little over a week, asking him out on what could be called a date.

 

 

“I can’t accept. Mark, you’re getting over Mina, and literally minutes after she called it quits between you two, you made out with me on top of the ferris wheel. I’m nothing to you,” Donghyuck hit his chest, palms down, with each exclamation he made, tears spilling out onto his cheeks. “It doesn’t matter if you mean a lot to me because we’re just best friends and I’m not going to let you ruin our friendship by using me and then dumping me to the side.” He bit his lip and looked up at him with teary eyes.

 

 

“I can’t believe you think I would do that to you, Hyuck.” Mark was still holding onto him.

 

 

“You don’t know what you’ve done to me.”

 

 

He looked pretty hurt over that, because despite all of this, they were really good friends. Donghyuck’s emotions were just making things a little bumpy for them right now.

 

 

“Can we talk about this over lunch? Try to patch things up faster?” Mark pleaded.

 

 

“I have lunch plans,” Donghyuck let go of him and stepped back. “How about you make it up to Mina, and have lunch with her. She just wants to know that you’re not in it for the body, and not going after her just because you couldn’t have her sister. Just trust me, okay?”

 

 

Things sat still for a second, with them idling and staring at each other. Mark was hoping for something to change suddenly, and Donghyuck just wanted him to realize the same thing he was. Once the latter got his answer, he sighed and opened the door. “I’ll talk to you in a while, okay?”

 

 

Donghyuck nodded and sniffled. “Tell Mina I said hi.”

 

 

-

 

 

It was about thirty minutes of him lying on the couch before anything else happen. His world was standing still, while the rest was moving around him. Five minutes were spent moping, fifteen minutes were spent crying, and the last ten were spent overthinking and waiting things out. Part of overthinking was putting some light makeup on, then wiping it off, changing the clothes he had been wearing all day, and munching on some snacks he had in the closet.

 

 

He was headfirst into his pantry when there was another knock at the door, and he bumped his head on the bottom of the shelf. This didn’t stop him from making a beeline for the door a second time. Upon opening it, he was immediately engulfed in a hug that made tears of happiness spill from his eyes.

 

 

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” Taeil rubbed his back.

 

 

Donghyuck sniffled and shook his head. “It’s not bad, I promise.” He chuckled.

 

 

“Are you hungry?”

 

 

“Oh, gosh,” He pulled away from the hug to settle in his arms. “Not a second picnic invitation.”

 

 

“Second?”

 

 

“Yeah,” Taeil’s face looked extra bright right now. “Mark came over. Just.. Randomly. He wanted to take me on a picnic.” His face heated up when Taeil began to wipe away his tears. “I told him I had plans already.”

 

 

“I didn’t know you had any other feelings, I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have tried to start up anything.” He rubbed his side.

 

 

“I didn’t either. I just started thinking..” Donghyuck sniffled. “Do you want to order some food in and eat in my bed?”

 

 

Taeil nodded. “Definitely. Just like normal.”

 

 

-

 

 

There was minimal talking between them, aside from the normal courteous quips and talking about what they wanted on the pizza they were ordering. He settled down onto the bed and sighed. “How many minutes until it arrives?”

 

 

“Ten. We’ve got some time,” Taeil stretched out on his back.

 

 

Donghyuck knelt on the bed, holding his hand. “Thanks for ordering.”

 

 

“No problem, Hyuckie. You were crying, and I couldn’t help but cave. You know I always cave when you’re emotional,” It was more of a protective method than a habit, if anything.

 

 

“Just like giving me all the presents at the fair,” He laid on his back next to him. “You’ve always catered to my emotions at the time. Especially when I’m sad.” A smile crept onto his face.

 

 

“Can we talk about this? I wanna know when these feelings started,” Taeil squeezed his hand. The two of them looked at each other.

 

 

“I don’t know.. I was just sort of thinking about everything, and you popped into the equation quite a lot. You were always there for me when I was upset, and provided a lot of wisdom when it came to Mark, or just how I was feeling at the time. And, you know, as a friend. You’ve even taken me home from being drunk, and taken care of me when I was sick or tired. There were even times when I realized you wiped off my makeup for me. I’ve been very dependent on you, in ways that I probably should have realized weren’t just friendly, either..” Donghyuck rolled onto his side and rested his head on his shoulder. “It’s not just friendly, right..?”

 

 

Taeil held his waist and shook his head. “It’s not. I’m not afraid to admit that.”

 

 

“Then why did you encourage me and Mark being together? What’s up with that?”

 

 

“It was what seemed to make you happy. If being with him was going to make your heart beat regularly again,” he teased, “Then I wouldn’t stop you. Plus, I would still get to take care of you and stuff, because we are best friends.”

 

 

Him and Taeil were much closer than he thought.. Donghyuck swallowed. “My feelings for you are a lot stronger though, aren’t you mad at me for just realizing that? It’s been forever since the both of us have been friends, and you’ve been doing stuff like this for me, and that I’ve been gushing over Mark.. I feel really bad. You must like me a lot.”

 

 

“Don’t make it so sad,” Taeil ruffled his hair. “I’m just looking out to see what’s best for you.”

 

 

“Moon Taeil, always the wiser,” He scooted closer and sat up to give him a kiss. Taeil rubbed his back. His smile was evident, even as they moved their lips. It just felt natural between them to do this. Donghyuck giggled and had to pull back to laugh.

 

 

“It’s probably been more than ten minutes,” Taeil squeezed and pulled at his cheeks. “How about we get some drinks, non - alcoholic. Even if you are very cute drunk.”

 

 

“I rescind my recent statement,” Donghyuck pouted and got up, pulling Taeil along with him.

 

 

They got about two feet before they were kissing again and stumbling into the living room. The doorbell rang, interrupting them both. Taeil sighed. “Drinks, got it?” He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and went up to the door. Their pizza actually happened to be early, because it only took a few seconds for him to actually work up the nerve to reveal that he had feelings for Donghyuck. Things just weren’t complicated between them.

 

 

“Let me know when you wanna stop idling in the kitchen and come in the room to hang out,” Taeil carried the box into his room.

 

 

Donghyuck ran in from the kitchen and flopped down onto the bed with two cans of soda. “Don’t have to tell me twice.” He turned on the TV and welcomed him over. “I recorded some episodes of Weekly Idol that I still have yet to watch.”

 

 

-

 

 

Taeil was sat up against the pillows with his legs stretched out, with Donghyuck’s head resting in his lap and the rest of his body curled up while they sipped the rest of their soda. Only about a quarter of the pizza was finished. It was non - verbally decided that he was staying for dinner, anyways. They had gone through 75% of the episode, and it was nice and quiet. Both of them were simply enjoying each other’s company and cuddling. One of his hands was occupied in holding Donghyuck’s for a while, until he noticed his grip loosening, and traded that out for stroking his hair.

 

 

The episode was ending, and Taeil looked down at him. “Hyuckie?” His cheek was pressed against his thigh as he let out tiny snores. “Aw, look who fell asleep this time.” Normally, that was his habit. Used to dealing with his dead weight from when he was drunk, he lifted him up by his armpits, then sat him up against his chest.

 

 

“Taeil~” Donghyuck rubbed his eyes and pouted.

 

 

“I’m right here,” He held his sleepy, puffy cheeks and kissed him before settling him in his lap. They would normally just lie together, but things were different now. Donghyuck smiled and wrapped himself around Taeil, cuddling him close. Of course he was there; Taeil was always there for him.

 

 

♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {please read !!}
> 
> "1+1=0, and i'm still young~"
> 
> no matter how much donghyuck wanted mark to love him, and how hard he worked to earn his affections, it was never going to go anywhere. the lyric from this song, "the sun and moon, day and night / balance exists in the world", and dean's entire verse pretty much is the taeil side of things, saying that he needs to stop working at it so hard and letting it stress him out; the constant effort to try to win his heart isn't getting him anywhere. so, if any of you got the title, you might have guessed how this fic would end, or at least understood the meaning. :)
> 
> thank you SO MUCH for reading! this was originally just going to be donghyuck slowly realizing that he was in love with taeil, until people thought it was going to be mark and donghyuck? i was confused because i thought it was obvious lmao it just let me play with the plot even more and make it spicy. but to those subscribed, thank you, to those who simply read, thank you, to those who bookmarked, thank you, to those who gave kudos, thank you, to those who commented, thank you, and to those who will read this or do any of the above in the future, thank you. <3
> 
> (also shoutout to user justabi for the whole "mark pull your head out of your ass" line lmao)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm Marcie! If you want to follow me / talk to me / stalk me / roleplay (i rp bts and nct pls rp with me lmao) my twitter is [here](https://twitter.com/froggiebubu) , my curiouscat (to leave me feedback and suggestions) is [here](https://curiouscat.me/femmeyong) , and my kakaotalk is marciexbam! :)
> 
> Enjoy my works! x


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